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Anonymous asked: 2. I don't want to become his wife, I don't want to become part of his everyday reality, I don't want to be the woman to fold his underwear and get bored of. I know it's wrong but I just don't have the motivation to walk out of it. I've fallen in love and I don't want people to find out. I've changed him, he's happy, I'm his little fantasy and I don't know what to do. Please help :(

It’s time to love yourself and walk away from this situation. You will always lose in situations like this. He will never leave his wife or his children for you and he does not love you. He will never love you. Yes you might make him happy but do you know what he does? He’s an emotional vampire. He sucks the happiness and life out of you and guess what? He shares that with his family. He is stealing your time and he doesn’t give a fuck. His love or what you perceive as love will not make up for what it is you’re missing within. It will not replace the love your father did not give you and it won’t make up for the love you lack for yourself. Other people don’t make you whole. You don’t find true happiness in people or things. You find it within yourself. It comes with loving yourself and being at peace with yourself. You and I both know that this situation is draining. You’re not happy. Hiding, lying, and constantly questioning your worth isn’t being happy and it isn’t what a loving relationship is. You know what you’re worth and you know you deserve better. If you want better and more fulfilling relationships with others, start with yourself first. Get accustomed to treating yourself like the queen you are so that you won’t tolerate others treating you as less. You won’t progress staying in this relationship. Put yourself first and do this for you. Best wishes baby xoxo

Anonymous asked: 1. I'm having an affair with an older married man. I know it's really petty and I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm not in for the money or the sex. He has a son who is 2 years older than me and it makes me feel really weird, but I just can't help it. I've grown without a father and this is why I target older men that are already mature and I just go nuts whenever a guy close to my age hits on me. I know this is not entirely my fault, it is his too because he shouldn't cheat on his family


Anonymous asked: How do you get healthy when your living away from home at 15 with very minimal money, I am sick of being unhealthy and I don't know how to change, I have terrible acne and I don't know how to treat it. Any advice?? Thank-you for being such an amazing role model. I love you so much!

DRINK WATER! This is SO important! Make sure you’re hydrated. Drink water regularly and watch how your health will change. When I was younger I literally used to never drink water and my skin was definitely a reflection of that. Plus it affected my body too. I wasn’t going to the bathroom regularly like I was supposed to (tmi but whatever you should be going regularly), I was ALWAYS breaking out, my hair was dry and brittle, I even almost passed out in the middle of the street because I was dehydrated! All I drank was juice and soda. Looking back it was a mess. Now I drink 2-3 liters of water a day and I don’t touch soda or artificially flavored juice. When you’re starting out try to have a bottle or 2 full glasses of water a day and gradually work your way up. Try seltzer water (the sodium free kind!! and my favorite) as a substitute for water. Just really try to make healthier choices and you’ll be fine. Cut down on snacks and fast food, smaller portions (but make sure you feel as if you’re eating enough food for you. don’t sit around hungry), choose fruit and yogurt over a bag of chips one day, being active etc.

It’s great that you’re making positive changes in your life but don’t overthink it or beat yourself up over it. You are young and trying to save money and a lot of organic things can be expensive. So the best and most cost effective change you can make is drinking more water. I love you too munchkin and good luck! xoxo ❤

Anonymous asked: How do I deal with social anxiety? Nothing is working. I try to force myself to be around people and be myself but it's just that I'm not really a people person and I always feel uncomfortable and nervous. I'm afraid to do a lot in life because of the anxiety,

If nothing is working I suggest you get professional help baby. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help when you can’t help yourself. You don’t know all the answers and you’re not supposed to. The truth is that this is beyond just dealing with it and it’s now time to treat it. I’m not very knowledgeable on social anxiety so I know I’m not of much help to you but please reach out to a professional. Be kind and patient with yourself through this process ❤ Best wishes xoxo

Anonymous asked: part 2: .. I don't know how I end up with these dudes that are functioning on a high-school level when we are grown ass people! I guess I always see the good in people, or what they COULD be capable of, and ignore the rest that says they're slackin' or in some other way not good enough to be in a relationship with. help me out, please? I'm trying to be strong here but I feel a little bit hopeless. thanks for all you do<3

If it helps, block him on everything. Delete messages, photos, texts, block his number, erase him from your life. Give it time.

Now if you keep attracting the same kind of man in your life you need to do some self reflecting. Not because it’s your fault that they are the way they are because nothing is your fault. You aren’t causing them to do anything. However there’s something going on mentally/emotionally that is drawing you to the same kind of man. You need to realize that you cannot fix anyone. Your love will not be enough to change a man. You cannot mold a man or push him to do better. It’s all his choice whether or not he wants to advance in life and it is not your job to take on their load. I can understand being a loving and a giving person but don’t go around giving away parts of yourself you don’t have/can’t afford to give. Stop trying to raise these men. Even though nowadays it’s hyped up to be with a guy so that you can “build” together, there is nothing wrong with pursuing men who you feel match your level/ambition. Never ignore signs that are straight in your face. Do some soul searching so you can find the root of all of this. When you look within you’ll figure out why history keeps repeating itself. You’re welcome sweetheart! Good luck xoxo 

Anonymous asked: part 1: my bf and I broke up a few weeks ago and even tho I loved him, he was a slacker who has no motivation to do anything with his life, doesn't take care of his kids, etc ... he has potential, but isn't doing anything with it. number one, I need help with not being that psycho ex-gf, I don't want to be stalking him on fb or caring what he's doing but you know it's hard! and number two, I WANT to be on to the next, but I want the next to be better! my other ex was a drug addict ...


Anonymous asked: how do you feel about liars?

Can’t stand a liar. There’s no point. When you’re open, honest, and genuine you get better results. You don’t do anyone any favors by lying. Best wishes xoxo 

authenticstars asked: How do you flirt? It's been a while lol.

Girl I love to flirt lol. There really is no particular way to do it. You just go with the flow and it just happens. It isn’t always what you say. It can be how you say it, how you look at the person, a smile, if you’re texting then an emoji.. it all depends. Don’t think about it too much and just have fun with it. Now go flirt with some cuties! ;) Good luck xoxo

Anonymous asked: Hi Boss Bitch, i'm a boss myself, i found myself in a tight situation where by my subordinate who works under me got out of hand. Her jealous caused a huge fight where by she got violent. I know for a fact she wont be fired for an unknown reason. I am in charge of so much, and the owner wants us to fix this, shes in a different department but we need to communicate. Fact is shes a dumb bitch whos lucky to even have a job, how should we communicate for the betterment of the company??? thanks!

Hey Ms. Bossy :) You both need to get together and talk about this. Explain to her that you don’t have to like each other but above everything else you need to respect each other. There’s more important shit to do than beef with each other. Tell her to get it together so you can both can continue to get this money! It’s all petty and it makes no sense. You’re both there for one reason and one reason only. Remind her that she needs to focus on that reason. With distance and respect, there will be peace. Best wishes xoxo

Anonymous asked: You are really awesome for doing this blog. I just wanted you to know that! So thank you :)

Thank you baby!! I appreciate it ❤ Stay bossy xoxo

ladymunaontheprowl asked: How do I not get offended and shrug off situations that make me feel stupid, and I also want to know how to not give a f--k about what people say, cause lately I have been very emotional easily, and little things just bother me, any tips?

You stop giving a fuck about what people say when you start to value your own opinion over everyone else’s. There is power in confidence and self love. You stop giving a fuck when you start to regain that power. You have to make it more about you and less about them. Who cares about what people think of you? YOU are the person that lives your day to day life. You are the only person who knows what every inch of your body looks and feels like. You are the only person who knows in depth every struggle you’ve conquered/are conquering. You are your day one partner and crime and best friend. No one knows what it is like to be you and live life the way you do except for you. Knowing that fact, why should someone who doesn’t know shit about you have the power to break you down? Especially with simple words? In order to not care, you need to be sure of yourself. Be confident and comfortable with who you are completely and no one can take that away. 

To answer your first question, you can’t avoid getting offended. If you’re offended you’re offended and you have the right to feel that way. If something isn’t sitting well with you and you feel disrespected, speak on it! You don’t have to sit down, smile, and take people’s shit. If you feel like you’re being the butt of the joke and you don’t like it, speak up! If you feel like something someone is saying is negative, nasty, or rude, speak up! If someone is trying to be slick and throw in sneak jabs at you, speak up! Who cares if you look “sensitive”. When you feel as though you’re being disrespected you need to speak up and correct that shit immediately. They can call you every name in the book for it but trust they won’t try you again because they know they’re going to hear your mouth. Check out this post too. Good luck mami xoxo


On this day three years ago, BBT was born and has been changing the game ever since. 3 years, 2.1k tips, 3.5k messages answered, and 2 million+ views later we’re still here and going strong. I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to reach out and help so many people for this long. I say this all the time but there are truly no words that can describe how much love and appreciation I feel for all of your love and support over the years. Just like this site has grown, so have I. Each year BBT becomes better, I become better, and I am able to help you all become better. In honor of today I’ll be following back at random all day (until 12:00am EST) on all of BBT’s pages. Like/follow on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. I will also be answering advice all day on the Advice Blog. Thank you for holding me down through it all. Let’s toast to another year of success and happiness Bossy Mafia! Happy 3rd Birthday Boss Bitch Tips!!  Stay bossy bitches❤❤❤


Anonymous asked: I have a question that i always hear, Im 20 years old, i have my own car and good career, Im a medical biller and coder, and once i meet a guy and we start talking, somehow once i tell them about me they always ending up saying "Im to good for them" and that "They don't want a bad girl, but they also don't deserve a good one" like im confuse, is it something im doing wrong?

Shoutouts to you for doing your thing girl! Whenever a man tells you some shit like that, believe them. Believe every word of it because if you choose to ignore it and be in a relationship with them they’ll show you it’s true eventually. Thank God or the Universe or whatever you believe in for the bullet you’ve just dodged. Even though you’re a young woman you’re on your grown woman shit and that’s amazing. However when it comes to dating, guys around that age aren’t at that same level. Not material wise but emotionally/mentally too. A lot of them don’t grow up either. No matter how much shit they talk about wanting a so called “real woman” (hate that term), they wouldn’t know what to do with a girl who’s sure of herself and knows what she wants in life. He knows he doesn’t have his shit together and possibly fears he won’t be able to deliver. Don’t blame yourself for that! They have to work on those issues on their own. 

At the same time, when dating/talking to guys save the career/car thing for another time. Just focus on getting to know each other on a personal level. You’ve accomplished a lot and you have every reason to be proud of that but those things don’t define you. You work hard but you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Let your success speak for itself. Even though you’re on your grind you are still young and you can take your time in the love department. It doesn’t have to be all business all the time. They’re dates, not job interviews. Chill and have fun with things! Best wishes boo xoxo

Anonymous asked: [part 2] i found it weird because i didn't expect a 27 year old dude to invite me only to talk and eat lol what's that supposed to mean? i know there's nothing wrong w/ just talking but i kinda felt undesirable or something hahaha i have a friend who believes that he just wants to get closer to me, but i dunno. what do you think ??

Undesirable? Girl stop it! You can be desired in more ways than just physically. If he wasn’t feeling you even a little bit he wouldn’t have asked you out. Especially to just enjoy each other’s company. He could be wanting to get closer to you. I say you both know what it is at this point (in regards to the nature of your relationship) so just let it go and enjoy yourself. It doesn’t have to be all physical all the time. Just go with the flow and live for the now. If you feel uncomfortable or like things are getting too serious (or not serious enough) talk to him about it. Other than that have fun and don’t over-think things. If you try to analyze a man’s every word and move you’ll drive yourself crazy lol. Good luck xoxo

Anonymous asked: there's this boy who i really like (im 20 and he's 27) and we've gone out multiple times and even had sex once. thing is when we started going out he always made clear that he didn't want anything serious and etc but we still went out a lot. this sunday he asked me out to chill and have some icecream which we really did but we just talked about stuff for 3h he didn't even kiss me or anything lol ...[continues on part 2]