Anonymous asked: How do I get a job if I never had experience? I'm 18. I apply but get zero feedback. I'm also too shy to call, and I'm shy to go to interviews cuz I always mess them up.
Well if you want a job you need to get over that shyness. Especially in most working environments. People aren’t always friendly and you need to be able to handle that. Have more confidence in yourself and your abilities and you won’t have any problems. You might not have any experience but if you have a great personality and you show that you’re serious about working there they’d be more likely to give you a change. You have to really want it and show that you do! In order to succeed at anything you have to get your mind right. Check out our posts about shyness and confidence for more details. Best wishes xoxo
Anonymous asked: well ever since I was little I wasn't a fighter im pretty down and don't let myself but to be honest I hate fighting Im pretty much a lover lol but anyways as my teen years I had drama and now that I think back at it I standed up for myself but never wanted to fight I feel like a lame idk like if I was a wuss
Not wanting to fight doesn’t make you a punk. People think that being a fighter makes you strong and it doesn’t. It just means you know how to throw them hands which does’t really matter to be honest. I say do what you have to do when you have to do it but I’ll never be all for fighting. It’s just not a good thing. Going around putting your hands on people doesn’t solve problems and it can get you into even more mess than before. For me it’s kind of like a last resort or you have to be beyond mad. Now I will say don’t go around letting your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash! If you’re the cause of the drama and you’re starting mess then somebody will want to fight. It’s not right but people react differently to different things and words can strike a nerve. To back away from drama you cause isn’t a good look. You have to stand behind what you say or don’t say anything scandalous at all. If you’re not someone who is a fighter then try to avoid situations that would lead to that. Good luck xoxo
Anonymous asked: recently i been going thru a lot with people. no drama or anything but i feel like some people are full of bs. im thinking of going MIA during the summer on EVERYONE. but i wanna do this for me. i feel ljke i need to work on myself a little bit more, and i just dont want to deal with peoples bs. just a question, but do you think this is a good idea to cut everyone off? also what if one day i need them for something? im just stuck please help
If they’re not real and you feel like they’re not affecting you or your life in a positive way then there should be no hesitation when it comes to giving them your ass to kiss. Need them for what? If they’re not real friends they aren’t going to be there for you anyway! Don’t let any fear stop you from eliminating negativity from your life. If you feel like you have to step back in order to get yourself together then do that. If they’re real they’ll understand if they’re not you won’t be losing anything but a shitty person from your life. Cut off who you think you should and don’t keep anyone around if they’re not real. Best wishes xoxo
Anonymous asked: so basically one of my friends always teases me and takes my stuff and things like that, and I want her to stop and respect me, but I don't know what to do? how to I show her what my limit is and make her stop?
By telling her to stop. No dancing around the subject or dressing your words up to avoid conflict. No sugarcoating. Be blunt, honest, and assertive. Straight up tell her you don’t like that shit and you’re not tolerating it. She’ll get the message. If she doesn’t then it’s time to drop her as a “friend”. Draw your line and make sure she doesn’t cross it again. Good luck xoxo
Anonymous asked: My mom and I are going to leave for a new country because we're poor. We know it's gonna be hard for a while there before we get our shit together, and then we'll have a stable financial status but it's also hard right now. We have a lot of trouble with leaving and so many bumps on our road, we're both strong girls but seeing her suffer makes me go crazy, like I don't know what to do to help. I'm this close to giving up, I need your advice. Thanks in advance girls, xox.
You have to be strong baby girl. Having a single mother can be tough but you have to remember that as a family you’re a team. You have to hold each other down. Be strong when she’s weak and vice versa. It’s stressful and it can suck at times but when you have each other you can pull through it all. It’s situations like this that only build your bond and your strength. All of this is temporary. Remember that. Build her up while she’s down. Even though you probably have outside family/friends at the end of the day you’re all of you’ve got. Stick together and there’s nothing you won’t be able to face. You’ve made it this far and you’ll go even farther. Keep your head up. Best wishes xoxo
Anonymous asked: Is it possible to make a lot of friends even though you're really shy and quiet? I have like no friends and it sucks. My senior year is absolutely going to suck.
You think your senior year is going to suck because of your own habits. So why not change those habits? Yeah yeah it might be “easier said than done” but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least attempt to try. Anything is possible but is it likely that you’ll make a lot of friends when you’re shy and quiet? No. People aren’t going to always reach out to you. A lot of the friends I’ve had in my life I’ve either met through mutual friends or I’ve approached them myself. Only a rare few came up to me first. I’m telling you this because I know exactly what you’re feeling like: get rid of that shyness as soon as possible! The earlier you do it in life the better things will be. There is nothing fun about it. You miss out on a lot and you prevent a lot of good things from coming into your life. You have to push yourself away from your inclination to be quiet or stay in the background. You have to take center stage. It’s your time to shine. Especially since it’s your senior year girl! I have a detailed post all about conquering your shyness here. Good luck xoxo
Anonymous asked: hey guys so i tried being strong & having a backbone etc. & for a while i thought it was working but then at times i find myself having a panic attack in certain situations & i can feel myself slowly going back to the scared, voiceless girl i used to be & i hate it. my question is how do i get through those days when im not feeling at my best & im second guessing myself??
Don’t let your down moments make you throw all of your progress away. I always stress strength but that doesn’t mean that you are or should be strong all the time. We all have those days that just completely suck. The key to getting over those days is keeping them as days rather than letting them turn into weeks, months, and even years. One bad day doesn’t mean you’ll have a bad life. You can’t let those things consume you. Don’t let your emotions have you frazzled. Having a backbone doesn’t mean being a hard ass and pretending to be something you’re not. It does’t mean being mean or trying to act tough. It’s simply not letting people walk all over you and defending yourself. It means being brave enough to speak up and do something when you don’t like the way someone is treating you. Having enough strength and self respect to not just accept everything that comes your way. That’s having a backbone. It can be scary and hard at first. But you have to push through that fear and keep going. Realize that you’re making a positive change that’ll affect your life and the way you’ll live it forever. Allow yourself that occasional day or two to feel crappy but get your ass right back up, dust yourself off afterwards, and continue on like a boss bitch would. Best wishes babydoll xoxo
Anonymous asked: I had alooot of friends everyone knows me knows that im fun, outgoing, funny person, alot of people say that im a bitch & stuff but idgaf & no one would start shit with me cuz they know im gonna end it, the thing is i started losing alot of friends i mean i don't care but it hurts that i just lost alot of friends, and now i lost my confidence & i fake that im confident and idk how to be confident again! what should i do?!
You made the mistake of basing your confidence on those around you. You found your confidence and happiness in people and that’s one of the number one ways to set yourself up for failure. That’s because when you find those things in people, it’s almost always temporary. When they go so does your confidence/happiness. Just like it is now. If you want to fine true, lasting happiness and confidence you need to find it in yourself. No one can give you the gift of finding inner peace. What you need to do is realize you don’t need these people. They don’t make you or break you. People who leave your life aren’t meant to be there so see it as a favor from God/Universe/whatever you believe in. When it comes to confidence you have to know exactly what it is before anything. Confidence is about so much more than just liking what you see in the mirror. It’s deeper than that. It’s about being in love with yourself and who you are. Not in an arrogant way, but a genuine love. Confidence isn’t looking in the mirror and thinking you’re pretty but hating your guts on the inside. Confidence is looking in the mirror and loving what you see AND looking deep within and loving yourself even more. I have a post all about confidence here that should help. Good luck xoxo
jarriaga91 asked: Do you believe its possible to help someone who doesnt want to be helped? Meaning my sister is with her bf who she clams to no longer love but shes still with him to pay for her car and other items since she doesnt have a job at the moment. its so frustrating for me as a little sister. I feel helpless almost.
Nope. Something I’ve learned when it comes to friends and family is that you can’t live their life for them. You can’t make them follow your advice and you can’t make choices for them. You can drill warnings and advice into their heads but it isn’t enough. Like I’ve mentioned before, for most people you don’t truly learn a lesson until you actually make the mistake yourself. I know it’s hard to sit back and watch someone you love fuck up but it’s something they have to do in order to learn. When it’s all over she’ll want to smack herself. But right now all you can do is be there and support her rather than scold her. She needs you right now. Keep your head up and remember she’ll learn in due time. Best wishes xoxo
Anonymous asked: pt2: tell her i just dontt know how to? but im scared that if i tell her she'll bug out and tell everyone like before?
I feel like it would be a lot better if she heard it coming from you rather than someone else. Sitting in and smiling in her face while knowing what you did would only make you look like a snake. I would use that as the opportunity to actually talk to her about everything. For her to tell everyone was extremely petty and it makes it seem like she actually does have feelings for him. Find out from her what the whole truth is so you can both move forward and know what to do next. I feel like she’s hiding her feelings for him and is letting this strain your friendship. You two definitely should have a heart to heart so you can put everything on the table. Be honest, don’t hold back, and she should do the same. That should help you both make progress and clear things up. Good luck xoxo
Anonymous asked: a few months back a good friend of mine moved o a different state. before her ex and i started talking, i asked her if it was okay and she said yeah bc she felt like their relationship wasnt all that serious anyway. when i first kissed him(bte they been broke up) she told everyone i guess out of anger. so as time passed by me and this kid had sex & now my friend is coming to visit me and sleep over. this kid and his friends know about me and him having sex, but my friend doesnt know. i wanna tel
Anonymous asked: the ither day me and my boyfriend got into a fight and i rang on his doorbell to his moms apartment like crazy just to piss him off (i thought he was alone) but his mom ended up opening the door & it made me look so crazy. i was so embarassed and my bf was pissed so there was a lot of tension. his mom yelled at him & i feel like i look like a maniac to his mom an i feel terrible because ive never been like this way before. how can i make it up to her? she must think im insane!
First off you can’t ever do anything childish like that again. Especially at his mother’s home! If you two are having a disagreement you have to talk it out. That’s the only way anything gets solved. Communication is extremely important. You can’t get your point across or be taken seriously by doing things you’ll regret later. I would suggest you have a talk with his mother and sincerely apologize. Even though you had a childish slip up, owning up to what you’ve done and apologizing for it shows that you’re woman enough to take responsibility for your mistakes. Angry or not, deep down she’ll respect it. I also wouldn’t go over there for a while until things simmer down. Best wishes xoxo
Anonymous asked: How do you deal If u have a feeling that ur bf chatting w another girl and sometimes I saw him liking pics on fb and he has a lot of girls best friend. Anywayi just feel about it
A woman’s intuition is a gift. Don’t ignore it. You don’t just feel like something is going on with no evidence to back it up. His actions have you questioning his fidelity. Now I personally don’t play any games when it comes to relationships. That questioning, guessing, and constantly checking his social sites/phone is for the birds. As I always say, if there’s no trust there’s no point. Now don’t think I’m coming for you specifically. None of this is your fault and I’m sure your feelings didn’t just pop up out of the blue sky. I just feel like speculations and accusations are a waste of time. Having to watch what he does is a waste of time. Just “dealing with it” is a waste of time and it diminishes your self respect. If you don’t like what you see address it immediately. If it doesn’t stop you know what to do. Good luck xoxo
queenbossj asked: Thank you best advice ive ever had <3
You’re welcome dolly! xoxo